Part 21: Autumn
Outside the window, the first day had begun with continuous rain and a wind that still pulled through the autumn jacket. I started sneezing and felt the need for cinnamon stars and ginger tea. It was clear, it’s autumn.
A strange feeling came over me, because autumn meant that Christmas was not too far away and this Christmas would bring the biggest change of my life. Milla. It was therefore the first year that didn’t make me wistful when wet leaves swept across the street, leaves stuck to my windshield, and it got dark again outside before the day’s news. Nevertheless, there spontaneously arose the need to go to the theater, cinema, dancing, drinking, smoking, freedom. And then again not. This contest of two feelings of life and yet I knew it was complete nonsense. Certainly, Milla would change all that in its frequency, but never forbid me to be myself. Fear is part of it, I thought, rejoicing in the kick in my gut. Autumn at last!